..Is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.”
I dreamed I was sitting on the curb of a street lined with banyan trees and Spanish moss. I was waiting for my mother so we could go buy the perfect wedding dress that was on hold for me down the road. Entering the shop, most of the dresses were outdated, hideous, and overall awful. The dress I had selected was perfect for me, and as it should happen, the perfect dress was accidentally sold. The shopkeeper offered up another dress. Although it was nice, trying it on it didn’t look good on me. The bust was suffocating, the material was heavy, and there was a giant slit that ran right up to my lady parts. It wasn’t a good fit. Disappointed, my mother assured me that everything would be okay, we would find another dress.
Coming to me at a time when my Angel and I had just postponed wedding planning so we could adjust to our new life in Miami, I knew that this dream had to be about something else.
Going for the final interview for a job in Coral Gables, my mother, who was visiting at the time, accompanied me so we could scope out the new neighborhood together. The office was located near the wedding district in one of Miami’s most beautiful residential areas. I had learned that they were impressed with my experience and I was offered the opportunity to become the assistant to an executive at a start-up non-profit organization.
Although the office resembled more of a prison cell than an office, the people were funny, open-minded, and progressive. I accepted the position and figured I could make a positive contribution to the culture and growth of the organization.
(I couldn’t have been more wrong.)
Showing up on time for my first day, the door was locked, no one was there, and I had to wait an hour and a half for my predecessor to show up. Once she showed up, she left within 30 minutes. My boss then called to yell at me for not being at the conference the team was at (which I didn’t know about), and then berated me for not being proactive. How could I be proactive on the first day on the job, when I was the only person in the office, and I didn’t even know what the job was?
Shortly after this conversation, I received a call from the company I had been trying to interview with for months. They wanted to let me know that the position I had applied for, which I was perfect for, was recently filled because my resume somehow got directed into her junk mail. Face, meet Palm.
My dream made perfect sense: The job I genuinely wanted (the perfect wedding dress) was given to someone else, and I was now left with the job (the ugly wedding dress) that didn’t fit.
Within a few months I learned just how much this dress didn’t fit.
It was a problem if I wanted to order food to be delivered to an event we were hosting for 100 people, which came out of my pocket, but it wasn’t a problem for the boss to spend $6K on a business class ticket to Europe. It was a problem for the team to use our vacation days (when we only have 10), but it was perfectly fine for the boss to take off a week literally every month, to then doctor the attendance records to make it appear as though she took off less.
When it comes to birthdays, she loves to celebrate everyone’s birthdays (except for mine) with an office lunch and cake. She loves birthday’s so much, that for her birthday, she invited us to lunch at the most expensive restaurant in the neighborhood, then made us pay for it.
Following our annual gala that cost $150K and generated only $200K in revenue, I learned that 60% of our board inherited their millions from controversial, questionable resources. Two close associates were recently convicted of fraud: One went to jail, and the other is hiding abroad avoiding extradition. Although the organization itself has great intentions, in essence, it’s just a pet project and means to an end for wealthy, nefarious foreigners looking for a philanthropic cause to hide their dirty money behind.
Constantly on the look out for another job, I am repeatedly told by all recruiters that where I’m at is as good as its going to get for Miami. Feeling defeated, and looking forward to our next chapter, I am reminded everyday that nothing ever goes away until it teaches you what you need to know. Everything happens for a reason, and where you are is exactly where you’re meant to be 🙂
~Peace, love, and light~
“At the end of the day, all you need is hope and strength. Hope that it will get better, and strength to hold on until it does.”
2 thoughts on ““The Struggle You’re in Today…”
I don’t know if I believe that we always get what we need, but I do believe that the trails of our lives are made up of all our experiences, good and bad, that take us forward, hopefully to a good place. Try to keep your head up and look for joy in each day, knowing that those choices will ultimately get you where you want to go. 🙂
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for your kind, warm, and encouraging words. I couldn’t agree with you more, so long as we learn from them, good and bad experiences ultimately bring us to a really good place 🙂 Thank you again for your kind words and encouragement ❤